I had some more fun over on icanhascheezburger.
Tag Archives: humor
This was too good not to repost.
This post is taken from Michellemalkin.com (all formatting by me).
Of course donks have “principles:”
1. I am a donk first, and an “American” second. When America becomes worthy of me, I might reconsider.
1a. “No” doesn’t really mean “no” when I am doing to you what I know is best for you.
2. The answer to every problem is more government.
2a. When the government creates problems, see 2 above.
3. The American People are a bottomless pool of money — that doesn’t belong to them, but to the government.
3a. As long as I have checks in my checkbook, I am entitled to write checks regardless of what the bank says about my account balance. Likewise, when I run the government printing presses it is impossible for me to “run out of money.”
3b. If you are more prosperous than me, it’s because you inherited it undeservedly from your parents who screwed over “the poor,” or because you screwed over “the poor” yourself. Either way, you must be punished by having your ill-gotten gains confiscated and re-distributed as I see fit.
4. No sacrifice is too great for me to call upon you to make.
5. Anything which increases the power of government in general, and that of the donkey party in particular, is an a priori good.
6. Honesty, decency and intellectual consistency, like taxes, are for “little people.”
7. When I use government to make racial minorities into permanent wards of the state, I am a good person. If you disagree, then you are a racist.
8. When I dissent, I’m a patriot. When you do, you’re un-American.
9. Rules are for fools when they interpose themselves between me and what I want, but they can be helpful as clubs to use on you.
10. When you understand what I want, then we’ll have a “mutual understanding.”
There’s lots more, but you get the idea.
How many government bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?
One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done
while the other is busy screwing the bulb into the water faucet.